NAM appointment #2

We just got back from our second NAM appointment with our Orthodontist, Dr. Yamashiro. Claire has been fighting the mouth piece for the last week. In other words, she did great the first week, but horrible the last week. I honestly believe that if we would’ve started this procedure in the first 2-3 weeks of her life this would be SO much easier. She is so mobile now and is used to her own routine of putting her tongue in her palate cleft while she sleeps so it’s more comfortable for her to breath. She certainly has continued her hand sucking for self-comfort to. This means that having this mouth piece in is a choking hazard. As I have mentioned before she has ALWAYS liked to suck on her hand. Having her hand in her mouth made us get extra ultrasounds because she kept us from seeing her mouth. As much as we think these things are cute while I was pregnant with her, they are habits that continue after they are born. So, now that Claire is 2 months old (OMG!!!) she has her own self soothing routine of having her hand by her mouth and/or face basically 24/7. If we were trying to break her of this habit as a newborn it would’ve been difficult but not impossible. Now we are talking about pinning her arms to her sides so she can’t rip the tape off or dislodge the “retainer” from the rubber bands and choke. She has demonstrated before that she can unhook it. Seeing her do this, now I am scarred for life about leaving it in while she sleeps. But, am I doing the right thing by making her comfortable and not doing the NAM or, am I totally blowing it because I am not strong enough to get through the discomfort stage and let her adjust?

I am having a huge personal conflict about doing the right thing here. I don’t want to take a chance o risking her motor skills by pinning her arms down but don’t want to be weak and not do the NAM and have her resent me down the line because her nose may possibly turn out “lazy” or “flat” because I didn’t do the NAM.  There are different beliefs and approaches to the NAM and pre-surgery procedures. I chose the doctor who likes to use the “retainer” that isn’t permanent. A friend of mine chose the doctor who still uses the permanent “retainer”. In my opinion, I don’t see a huge difference in the outcome. BUT I think that if you had asked me that 4 months ago my answer would’ve been different. I made the decision to go with Dr. Schmelzer because of his new approaches and open mind. Now I doubt it because I know that his approach is much more invasive. People think I am crazy when I say that. Why someone would chose a permanent mouth piece “retainer” over one that you can take out? Well when you have an infant who can’t keep their hand away from their face the situation becomes a little more real, and dangerous.

This is why I am going to STRESS, STRESS, STRESS to any parent who is reading this; if you are expecting a baby with a cleft lip and/or palate. Get started in the first 2 weeks. I know how hard it seems to take you brand new baby into an orthodontist and get the tape and “retainer” going so soon. But that is your parent mind talking. DO IT!!!Get that baby into the routine quick so you don’t have to worry about breaking habits. Make this your routine. Even if you don’t elect to do the NAM procedure you still need to think about how your baby will do with splints on their arms and stitches in their lip. I honestly am so scared right now. I don’t know how we are going to break Claire of this habit. It’s bittersweet because I know that doing this for her NAM and stitches now, will probably mean that I won’t have to deal with thumb sucking but at the same time I feel guilty. She can’t have a pacifier because of her palate and she has been ingenious enough to fit her little hand just right in there to make her own pacifier. I feel bad taking that away, but I know I have to.

I don’t regret much in life, actually nothing at all, and that is a lot coming from me. I am mindful enough that I know that there is something to be learned from every situation and as long as you can walk away from that situation knowing that a lesson was learned; hard, easy, good or bad, as long as you learn something you shouldn’t regret a second of it. I could easily regret not starting Claire on this 2 weeks BUT I know that the reason that this happened to me is so I could write about it and let another family know that its ok to jump right into it. Its better in the long run. I was the most planned out, prepared mother I knew how to be, this was my slip up. This is where I feel like I failed her. I don’t regret it because I am writing about it and my mistake can help someone else, therefore I do not regret it, but I don’t honor it either. If there is nothing else to take away from my blog let this be it. Please, don’t wait till the baby is old enough to develop habits. Do it within the first 2 weeks. I know it is so very hard to see your precious new baby go through these things and adjust to having a baby or an additional baby, but it really will be worth it. Do the NAM, and do it soon!