What Now?

After finding out that my instincts were right I wanted to dive right into everything and anything I could to prepare myself for the rough road ahead. I made an appointment with a specialist for the following week after we found out. I remember that week going by so slowly. I was extremely sick with nausea and horrible heartburn. I also had a regular checkup appointment that week. I was measuring 4 centimeters too big which only added to my stress. As I have proven many times before preparedness is key to my sanity so I researched causes of measuring too big and when mothers are carrying babies with cleft lips or palates they sometimes have a hard time digesting the amniotic fluid.
At 27 weeks we went to the appointment with the specialist. He told me that there was no reason to be concerned about measuring too big. Everything looked great. It’s amazing how much they change so quickly. This time we could actually see that she had a cleft lip. We could see that it was on her left side, just like my dad's is. Although he didn’t think the lip was severe he agreed with the radiologist about her having a cleft palate.Sometimes cleft issues are indicators of other chromosomal issues. He reassured us that he didn't see any reason to be concerned about her having any other problems, such as down syndrome. He told us that there wasn't a whole lot that we could do until she was born and we knew how severe the clefts were. The next step was an appointment with a genetic counselor, and I had to wait for them to call me which drove me crazy.
I kept it together pretty well in the appointment. It was easy to stay optimistic while seeing our cute little baby on a big screen playing and jabbering to herself. But as soon as I got out of the doors I felt it hit me like a ton of bricks. We knew that because the radiologist was pretty sure about the palate that it was wishful thinking to hear anything different from the specialist. That doesn't mean that I didn't stay hopeful, and have a very hard, long, tearful ride home.

 Even though it was hard to hear everything be set in stone it was such a relief to finally be doing something besides research. I knew that I had to buck up and get everything in motion. I didn't want to be one of those moms who just went along with what they were telling me. Which was basically to sit back and wait for her to make her debut. I wanted to be proactive (shocker, I know) and set up consults with some plastic surgeons. The advice that we got from the specialist was to set up consults with them a couple weeks after I had delivered. The last thing I wanted to do was drag my baby from doctor to doctor when we could make that decision before she arrived.

We met with the genetic counselor and learned about pigeon nipples and got a list of plastic surgeons from Primary Children's. There was a lot of other information that she had to share with us but because of my diligence I had covered most of it for myself already. I am very grateful that I did so much research. It made it much easier to face each task with some knowledge. I cant imagine going through it all blind. Waiting for some doctor or counselor appointment to ask a simple question would've been nerve racking.

We were fortunate enough to have the opportunity to meet with a very well known cleft plastic surgeon while we were at our genetic counselor appointment. He was very nice and answered a few of our questions. Knowing that he was one of the most popular choices I knew that many mothers would have been satisfied with that and chose him. Which is obviously not a bad choice. I have seen his work and it is amazing, but I felt that I would be doing Claire a disservice if I didn't at least look into other surgeons before making our decision.

So, since the counseling appointment had passed we had nothing left to do but wait for our last weeks to pass, and choose a surgeon. I got online and looked at each surgeon's profile from the list. I knew I wanted a surgeon who had an obvious passion for cleft work. Out of the 10 surgeons I narrowed it down to 2 that I wanted to meet with. The first consult went well. I thought the doctor was a little on the odd side and wasn't so sure about him but although I wasn't sure about him I felt comfortable in making him our #2 guy. ( a go to guy in case the next consult was a bust) His success stories were great and his pictures on his profile were stunning. There was just something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. One thing that I disagreed with was that he wanted Claire and I to make an appointment to be seen within the first week of life. We live about 4 hours away from these doctors and the last thing I wanted to think about was bringing her to a consult so early.

The next consult was where we found our surgeon Dr. Schmelzer. I knew within the first 60 seconds he was our guy. He was straight forward, to the point and didn't dance around issues. I liked that about him and respected him instantly.

A lot of people gave me some grief about trying to include personality and bedside manner in my decision factors. I disagree with them completely. I think that they are VERY important. I am trusting this man with my baby. A very small baby! And come on lets be honest, my daughter's face is getting operated on, shouldn't I feel comfortable with the man who has the scalpel in his hand?